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View Full Version : Who Will Play You in the Movie?



fubar
01-08-07, 11:06 AM
Good news, people! My financial backers have come through, and "baylorfans: the movie" is about to become a reality! Obviously, we have some work to do.

The further good news -- well, it is good news for the production, not so much for me -- is that my backers insist that I not be involved with the project except in casting. So my question: Who should play you in the upcoming blockbuster? Nominations for yourself and any others are welcome ... some rationale would be helpful as well.

So far we have Verne Troyer lined up to play 0and11 (even though Billy Barty wanted to come back to life to play him, we decided to go with a guy who is actually alive), and the dude who played "Screech" really wants to play BEAR. Ving Rhames's and Samuel L. Jackson's people have been in contact re: robby44. Richard Roundtree wants to reprise his role as John Shaft, but Amy Madigan is refusing (so far) to be typecast as Annie Kinsella.

In true baylorfans tradition, we'll work on a script after the entire production is complete.

It's time! Who will play you?

eastdallasloco
01-08-07, 11:07 AM
ive always wanted gary busey to play me in the movie of my life.

Bexar Fan
01-08-07, 11:14 AM
Kenny Rogers, fo sho.

DONNIE D
01-08-07, 11:32 AM
George Strait..............on stilts!!

eastdallasloco
01-08-07, 11:38 AM
George Strait..............on stilts!!

i heard that george straits son came out of the closet. so i guess that makes him gay strait.

LTbear
01-08-07, 12:20 PM
I will be played by Mark Wahlburg. Period.

tommie
01-08-07, 12:29 PM
Rosie O'donnell as we are both pretty big Irish lesbians.

piratestef
01-08-07, 01:13 PM
If there was some way to bring back Janis Joplin from the dead, she's dead-on with my hair.

BaylorBabe
01-08-07, 01:19 PM
:lol: My friends and I have had this conversation SO many times. It's more fun to think of people to play your other friends than it is to think of one for you.

BUGWBBear
01-08-07, 02:49 PM
Ron Livingston (Peter Gibbons from "Office Space") would be my choice. Neither one of us gives a crap.

WacoGone
01-08-07, 02:54 PM
Tina Fey.

Yogi
01-08-07, 02:56 PM
Sean Connery

eastdallasloco
01-08-07, 02:58 PM
If there was some way to bring back Janis Joplin from the dead, she's dead-on with my hair.

you want to be played by UT's ugliest man on campus?

tommie
01-08-07, 03:34 PM
I want to be the first black James Bond.

piratestef
01-08-07, 03:37 PM
you want to be played by UT's ugliest man on campus?

She has the hair.

Nothing else, but the hair.

turk4037
01-08-07, 03:38 PM
John Wayne, native Iowan and all.

BearChick
01-08-07, 03:40 PM
WacoGone already took Tina Fey, so I'll have to take my twin, Kate Beckinsale.

Allie Holcomb
01-08-07, 03:45 PM
:lol: My friends and I have had this conversation SO many times. It's more fun to think of people to play your other friends than it is to think of one for you.

Babe, you will be played by Jessica Alba. Now you can pick mine. :)

tommie
01-08-07, 03:46 PM
John Wayne Gacy, being an artist and all
John Wayne Gacy, wo!

ninjacoco
01-08-07, 03:47 PM
They mass produced versions of me at Fisher-Price.

There are MILLIONS of me.

I'll just get my twin BFF Fluffy Bunny, Eater of Souls, to play a younger, hotter me.

--the bunny

turk4037
01-08-07, 03:47 PM
I meant native Iowan Johnny Carson!!!

JWG was born in Illinois BTW!!!


John Wayne Gacy, wo!

fubar
01-08-07, 04:37 PM
You guys are doing great so far! I appreciate the nominations and will enter negotiations with the nominees shortly.

There is one point I inadvertantly brought up and which apparently needs clarification: We CANNOT bring back people from the dead to play one of us in the coming blockbuster! So the following nominations (from this thread and my multitude of PMs) must be declined:

1. tommie cannot be played by Richard Pryor (too bad ... I was hoping for a waiver, but the investors insist the actor must be currently alive). Rosie O'Donnell's people are notoriously tough, but I'm on it.
2. piratestef cannot be played by Janis Joplin's hair;
3. turk4307 cannot be played John Wayne, John Wayne Gacy, OR Johnny Carson;
4. ybbodeus cannot be played by Mr. Fred Rogers;
5. txkypreacherskid cannot be played by Sam Kinison;
6. Trader Bear cannot be played by J. Paul Getty (who wasn't EVEN an actor!);
7. BUGWB Bear cannot be played by Carroll O'Connor;
8. elm mott the hoople cannot be played by John Belushi; and
9. Groucho Marx cannot be played by ... Groucho Marx.

Keep the nominations coming ... and remember, you can nominate for another poster!

caseman
01-08-07, 04:41 PM
gary coleman

blindsweathog
01-08-07, 04:44 PM
Anne Heche has agreed to play the conflicted role of the blindsweathog.

BHJ
01-08-07, 06:36 PM
bc == a brunette, long haired mrs. beasley.

- ul

me? chris farley.

if he weren't dead.


WacoGone already took Tina Fey, so I'll have to take my twin, Kate Beckinsale.

piratestef
01-08-07, 07:33 PM
Boo.

I nominate fubar-wearing-a-messy-brown-wig to play me, then.

billytheskink
01-08-07, 10:04 PM
Some sort of a young Rick Moranis.

Maybe that Mike Hansen kid from the new version of PBS' Zoom. He looks a lot like me, even though he's 13 and from Massachusetts.

DS Bear
01-08-07, 10:29 PM
john c. reilly

groverbabyBU
01-08-07, 10:37 PM
can't I just star as myself?

Maxwell's Silver Hammer
01-08-07, 10:52 PM
I'd like it to be John Cusack in one of his quirky yet cool roles. But in reality, it should probably be Jeff Goldblum (if he'll gain about 35 pounds) in one of those how-annoying-get-him-off-the-screen roles.

Wacoso
01-08-07, 11:04 PM
zebbie is Ron Livingston, dead ringer down to the hair. I called him Office Space Peter for the better half of a year.

Not sure who'll play me. Sir John Holmes? Naaahhhh, not a big enough actor.

BigOlBurlyBear
01-09-07, 01:19 AM
J.J. Walker.

BaylorBabe
01-09-07, 08:48 AM
Babe, you will be played by Jessica Alba. Now you can pick mine. :)

Thanks Allie!

I watched In Her Shoes the other night on HBO, so I think Cameron Diaz for you. :) She is so pretty in that, but goofy and funny so you forget sometimes.

sicem75
01-09-07, 08:57 AM
Tony Shalhoub or Jamie Farr

HoustonMedBear
01-09-07, 09:09 AM
some say i look like christian slater (hopefully the sober one), while yet others said i looked like jonathan taylor thomas (JTT, for the all the teenie-boppers out there) when i was in hs.


i'll go with christian slater, although i'd prefer nicolas cage.

Limited IQ Redneck in PU
01-09-07, 09:34 AM
William Shatner would be my first choice but if he is too busy Ron Jeremy would work. I once used a line in a bar about being Patrick Swayze's younger brother. It worked but she was pretty drunk. So I guess Patrick would be my 3rd pick.

bobo
01-09-07, 10:18 AM
Tim Roth.

eastdallasloco
01-09-07, 10:26 AM
Tim Roth.

will he be speaking w/ a british accent or his failed attempt to do an american accent

Baylor Sinister
01-09-07, 10:27 AM
I would be an extra in the movie since I've posted over 1,500 times and rarely does anyone respond

BaylorBabe
01-09-07, 10:29 AM
I would be an extra in the movie since I've posted over 1,500 times and rarely does anyone respond

Did you see that someone got shot in the head in a parking lot in Addison last night and the cops found him at 3 in the morning? :)

goober
01-09-07, 10:37 AM
George Lindsey

Baylor Sinister
01-09-07, 10:43 AM
Did you see that someone got shot in the head in a parking lot in Addison last night and the cops found him at 3 in the morning? :)

Finally, someone responded :bounce: :bounce:

Thank you, Babe.

No, I didn't see that in the news. On a side note, I had a New Year's Eve party at my place and down the street (on the same block) someone else's NYE party was held-up by 3-4 men in ski masks and took everyone's money.

BaylorBabe
01-09-07, 11:15 AM
ohmigosh! I was at a New Year's Eve party in Addison too. Thankfully, no ski masks. I don't think any of us had any money on us, but they would have cleaned up on booze and cigarettes.

bobo
01-09-07, 11:27 AM
will he be speaking w/ a british accent or his failed attempt to do an american accent

With the failed american accent. of course. Having lived all over the place his failed american accent would fit well with my failed american accent. Think mid-west meets far west meets great lakes meets texas meets Ozark hillbilly jibberish All depends on how much I drink. Tim Roth will do nicely.

FIJIFan
01-09-07, 11:58 AM
Richard Dean Anderson, MacGyver era.

DONNIE D
01-09-07, 12:13 PM
Richard Dean Anderson, MacGyver era.I bet FIJI carries a pocket knife. One of those cool ones.

ybbodeus
01-09-07, 12:24 PM
Andy Dick or Donnie Osmond.

ybbodeus
01-09-07, 12:25 PM
Actually, I'll be played by Sir Not Appearing In This Film.

CammoTX
01-09-07, 12:35 PM
I would like to play Charles Bronson.

Probably because he was the coolest person ever.

fubar
01-09-07, 12:36 PM
You guys are doing great with the nominations. Keep 'em coming!

Some updates:

1. My financial backers have agreed to put up the extra cash, so DONNIE D will be played by George Strait on stilts.

2. Sorry, stef, but I can't play you. Not only do I lack the proper coconuts, but I am not allowed on the production after casting. (The money dudes are still mad that I neglected to put the Siberian Husky in that scene with the two naked women in my last movie.)

3. Elizabeth Taylor personally has contacted me about playing Noggle. It seems Liz already has this collection of large underpants, so she thinks she's a natural for the Noggle role. What do you guys think?

4. Robert DeNiro is interested in directing our hit, but he has concerns about our not preparing a script until the movie is done. I've explained that's the baylorfans way, so we'll see.

5. Jessica Alba and Cameron Diaz are so excited that they have each agreed to do this at union scale. Excellent! ... and this even after I explained the nudity requirement!

I'll keep you posted on who agrees to play who ... these negotiations are a pain. Thank goodness I splurged and got that cell phone, so's I don't have to keep the pay phone tied up all day.

More nominations, please!!!!!

BrooksBearLives
01-09-07, 01:00 PM
Tina Fey.
hotttt

BaylorBabe
01-09-07, 01:06 PM
I would like to request that Josh Duhamel play Solan. I know it's a stretch and he'll need alot of on the job training.......but I think that Allie and I are just the girls to do it! We'll even help him pick out a wig.

Bearupnobly
01-09-07, 01:10 PM
I act like John Goodman but look like Dick Cheney, so maybe a Kevin James could shave his head and try to be funnier.

BHJ
01-09-07, 02:18 PM
tina fey is not hot. not funny, not hot.

large scars are not arousing.

next.

- kkm

BaylorBabe
01-09-07, 02:19 PM
This from the man who wears eau de jav aftershave. ;)

BHJ
01-09-07, 02:21 PM
i don't wear eau de jav.

just stating facts. she almost single handedly ruinied snl.

which is a hard thing to do.

cowboycwr
01-09-07, 02:28 PM
For me maybe one of the wilson brothers. I'm thinking maybe Luke but Owen would be fine (except for that croooked nose). Or if they aren't available a good ol Texas boy like Matthew McConaughey.

piratestef
01-09-07, 02:37 PM
Who's going to play BHJ and all his other names, then?

My nominations:
LoadedForSteele: Robin Williams
LinuxBear: Anthony Hopkins
KrispyKremeMan: Sybil (is she still alive?)
The Sage: John Cleese
The Hammer: Terry Pratchett
BHJ: Jesus Himself (and if you say he's dead, you shouldn't be at Baylor, you heretic!)

BaylorBabe
01-09-07, 02:45 PM
i don't wear eau de jav.

just stating facts. she almost single handedly ruinied snl.

which is a hard thing to do.

I thought it sucked long before she came along, but maybe that's just me!

Allie Holcomb
01-09-07, 02:48 PM
Thanks Allie!

I watched In Her Shoes the other night on HBO, so I think Cameron Diaz for you. :) She is so pretty in that, but goofy and funny so you forget sometimes.

Sounds good to me! She's pretty ditzy, but I did like her in that movie. Funny thing, my hubby thinks she's really UNattractive. I don't understand men's taste in women, but whatever. :)

Allie Holcomb
01-09-07, 02:51 PM
I would like to request that Josh Duhamel play Solan. I know it's a stretch and he'll need alot of on the job training.......but I think that Allie and I are just the girls to do it! We'll even help him pick out a wig.

Can Cameron date Josh for the sake of acting? Josh Duhammel--:lick: . I don't think Lady Solan should be Fergie, but possibly Alyson Hannigan or Nicole Kidman.

I think Wants should be played by Tobey Maguire. :)

Solan=Christ!!!
01-09-07, 02:56 PM
I will bear the burden of Josh Duhammel. If Allie's through playing with me as Ryan Gosling (you knew I was going to bring it up.)

L-S = Alyson Hannigan. Oh yes she does.

WacoGone
01-09-07, 02:56 PM
hotttt
I don't think she is, really. I didn't mean her in terms of looks as much as the teacher she played in Mean Girls, which is the only thing I've ever seen her in.

Allie Holcomb
01-09-07, 03:02 PM
I don't think she is, really. I didn't mean her in terms of looks as much as the teacher she played in Mean Girls, which is the only thing I've ever seen her in.

I'm not going to lie, that is one of my favorite movies with a great script written by Mrs. Fey. I like the choice.

Solan, you are always going to be Ryan Gosling to me. :)

cowboycwr
01-09-07, 03:06 PM
Who is going to play Golem?
BUM?
wants?
Stats?
Ty?

etc, etc

Allie Holcomb
01-09-07, 03:15 PM
Who is going to play Golem?
BUM?
wants?
Stats?
Ty?

etc, etc

Statman will be played by the guy who played Screech in Saved By the Bell. Another idea would be Rob Schneider.

I still like my Wants idea.

BaylorBabe
01-09-07, 03:15 PM
We can have Ryan Gosling play Solan and change Josh to Mac if you'd rather Allie. ;)

nein51
01-09-07, 03:20 PM
Kevin James 100% for sure (the dude from King of Queens).

If I were choosing who I would like to look like well make me Connery or Elvis (the early years).

BaylorBabe
01-09-07, 03:22 PM
Kevin James is taken by Bearupnobly I think.

fubar
01-09-07, 03:31 PM
Who is going to play Golem?
BUM?
wants?
Stats?
Ty?

etc, etc
I'm thinking Mel Gibson for BUm, but these questions are why nominations are so important!

There goes my cell phone again. Probably that Tom Hanks begging for a role, but I better get it, just in case.

Allie Holcomb
01-09-07, 03:33 PM
We can have Ryan Gosling play Solan and change Josh to Mac if you'd rather Allie. ;)

I don't know--I think he decided to bear the burden of having Josh play him. ;)

Mac reminds me more of a Colin Farrell.

BUGWBBear
01-09-07, 03:36 PM
zebbie is Ron Livingston, dead ringer down to the hair. I called him Office Space Peter for the better half of a year.

Not sure who'll play me. Sir John Holmes? Naaahhhh, not a big enough actor.

He posts more like Michael Bolton than Peter Gibbons, which is why I already chose Ron to play me. David Herman or Diedrich Bader is available, though.

BaylorBabe
01-09-07, 03:37 PM
I don't know--I think he decided to bear the burden of having Josh play him. ;)

Mac reminds me more of a Colin Farrell.

:lol: I bet Bubbles will like that!

Speaking of, whose going to play Bubbles?

nein51
01-09-07, 03:38 PM
Kevin James is taken by Bearupnobly I think.See you go away for a month, come back and dont bother to read 4 pages and thats what happens.

Oh well.

TrapIt4Life
01-09-07, 03:43 PM
Personality wise...I draw the Jack Black comparison. Not sure I care for that, but I get it about 2-3x a week

BHJ
01-09-07, 04:11 PM
reba mcintire.

- kkm

{ bhj giggling }

{ cow mooing }



:lol: I bet Bubbles will like that!

Speaking of, whose going to play Bubbles?

BearChick
01-09-07, 04:49 PM
WacoGone already took Tina Fey, so I'll have to take my twin, Kate Beckinsale.

Hey, Fubar, I just got a call. Seems Rachel McAdams is dying to play me. I think we're gonna have to make a casting change.



BTW, Allie, I agree with Cornerhouse. Cameron Diaz=Not Hot.

Allie Holcomb
01-09-07, 04:54 PM
BTW, Allie, I agree with Cornerhouse. Cameron Diaz=Not Hot.

Okay.

BearChick
01-09-07, 05:28 PM
Hey, he's a man of impeccable taste.

Just look who he married. ;)

ybbodeus
01-09-07, 06:18 PM
Who's going to play BHJ and all his other names, then?

My nominations:
LoadedForSteele: Robin Williams
LinuxBear: Anthony Hopkins

KrispyKremeMan: Sybil (is she still alive?)


The Sage: John Cleese
The Hammer: Terry Pratchett
BHJ: Jesus Himself (and if you say he's dead, you shouldn't be at Baylor, you heretic arse!)


Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

Up yours!

All of you shut the hell up!

nein51
01-09-07, 07:03 PM
After much thought I have come to the following:

I dont care who plays me as long as Joanna Garcia plays my significant other.

saabing bear
01-09-07, 09:07 PM
Benny Hill!! Oh wait, he's dead.

Dom DeLuise!!

Bearupnobly
01-09-07, 09:13 PM
Nein51,
After mature consideration, as well as in recognition of your vastly greater number of posts, I herewith restore unto you Kevin James. In return, I only asked to be thought well of and to be played by Richard Deacon, who played Mel Cooley on the "Dick Van Dyke" show. Oh, and I also claim Mary Tyler Moore as my wife.

Yossbearian
01-09-07, 09:14 PM
Paul Giamatti.

ChipOC
01-09-07, 10:44 PM
I meant native Iowan Johnny Carson!!!

JWG was born in Illinois BTW!!!

Nope.. Carson's from Nebraska. You got that one wrong too.

Texas Golfer
01-09-07, 11:46 PM
Denzel Washington.

piratestef
01-09-07, 11:58 PM
I don't know--I think he decided to bear the burden of having Josh play him. ;)

Mac reminds me more of a Colin Farrell.

Not hairy enough. Mac calls for Sasquatch, at the very least.

Wood
01-10-07, 12:21 AM
Well I'm a has-been now but 5 years ago it would be Adam Sandler. Starts out as the idiot guy who drives everyone crazy and heckles anyone within earshot, then some hot girl comes along and straightens him out (although I'm stillwaiting for the 'hot girl' bit lol)

Sam Lowry
01-10-07, 06:05 AM
Looks good, Fubar. I have a few ideas...

Sorry to use multiple posts, but we can't direct link and I'm still figuring out the attachment thing.

Sam Lowry
01-10-07, 06:09 AM
Christine Taylor as Allie Holcomb

Sam Lowry
01-10-07, 06:12 AM
Michael McKean as Texas Golfer

Sam Lowry
01-10-07, 06:15 AM
Lucky McKee as Sam Lowry

Sam Lowry
01-10-07, 06:18 AM
Noah Taylor as Corporal Golem

Sam Lowry
01-10-07, 06:21 AM
George Bush 43 as Himself

Sam Lowry
01-10-07, 06:23 AM
The Republican Talking Points as Rush Limbaugh

Sam Lowry
01-10-07, 06:26 AM
Billy Gibbons as Solan=Christ!!!

nein51
01-10-07, 07:02 AM
Nein51,
After mature consideration, as well as in recognition of your vastly greater number of posts, I herewith restore unto you Kevin James. In return, I only asked to be thought well of and to be played by Richard Deacon, who played Mel Cooley on the "Dick Van Dyke" show. Oh, and I also claim Mary Tyler Moore as my wife.That is just downright friendly of you. Claiming Mary Tyler Moore was a genious move!

WacoGone
01-10-07, 09:22 AM
Denzel Washington.
TG, if you SOUND like Denzel, I want to sit and listen to you talk all night sometime. :wink2:

WacoGone
01-10-07, 09:23 AM
Sam, :lol: on every single one of those.

Solan=Christ!!!
01-10-07, 10:12 AM
Sam wins this thread. The first one is pretty incredible.

Bow to my geetar skills.

Texas Golfer
01-10-07, 12:21 PM
Michael McKean as Texas Golfer

I sure hope you mean his post-Lenny days from Laverne and Shirley. :lol:

fubar
01-10-07, 01:38 PM
Negotiations continue with many of the the nominees ... man oh man, this is a lot of work. Sorry for not keeping you people (when you're in Show Biz like me, you can refer to people as "you people" withough being unconvivial) better informed.

I am happy to report that Rachel McAdams WILL play Bear Chick, which is good, because Rachel has been calling me on the pay phone at all hours and this will get her off my back.

Sam's nominees have all accepted. That's a load off my mind.

Lenny says he'll play Texas Golfer only if Squiggy can be in the epic as well. So it looks like we have an actor to play ScottS!

We need at least one Dick in this production, and Andy Dick has signed on to play ybbodeus.

Tom Hanks keeps calling. I've promised he can be the gaffer or the key grip if he's not nominated for a leading role.

There's a few integral roles which have NO nominees, so I need some more help. I'm kind of leaning towards Michael Savage in the txkypreacherskid role (what with Sam Kinison and "I'm mad as hell and not going to take it any more!" Peter Finch both being dead), but there may yet be someone living who would be better. I was thinking of Peter Boyle to play Baylor Dan, but then HE up and died (that's Peter Boyle, not Baylor Dan), so I need someone else. Who plays Shelby's Friend? elm mott the hoople? Annie Kinsella? honeybeebear? Ian McKellan as Video Bear? Do we have a caseman nomination, or do I just stick with Tommy Chong?

Last, but definitely not least, what do you think of having StatMan play himself? I figure no actor will believe the role anyways, so why not give Stats his big break?

Keep up the nominations, and thanks for being so convivial!

JGTBH
01-10-07, 01:39 PM
Dana Carvey

Allie Holcomb
01-10-07, 02:35 PM
I like Sam's nominations! Cameron will be replaced by Christine if Fubar doesn't mind.

Solan, I have a great Billy Gibbons story!!

ybbodeus
01-10-07, 06:17 PM
This movie's starting to smell of SNAKES ON A PLANE bad. Fubar, you need a rewrite!

ybbodeus
01-10-07, 07:08 PM
And speaking of movies, I just discovered that my wife was the inspiration for the miraculously pregnant women in CHILDREN OF MEN and NOT the Virgin Connie Swayles......errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......the Virgin Mary! What do ya' know?

Bexar Fan
01-10-07, 07:53 PM
Michael McKean as Texas Golfer
Naaah....no gold.

JETHRO
01-10-07, 08:19 PM
Max Baer

cowboycwr
01-10-07, 09:32 PM
This movie's starting to smell of SNAKES ON A PLANE bad. Fubar, you need a rewrite!

maybe we can call it scorpions on a plane

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/10/scorpion.plane.ap/index.html

piratestef
01-11-07, 09:07 AM
That's it. I'm never flying again!