+ Reply to Thread
Page 10 of 10 FirstFirst ... 8 9 10
Results 181 to 183 of 183
  1. #181
    Join Date
    Oct 1999
    Location
    Land of SASSY!
    Posts
    4,092
    My Mood
    Flirty
    Quote Originally Posted by groverbabyBU View Post
    That's not a way to woo a woman, dear.
    Jokerman's Ways to Woo a Woman(Not to be confused with Mike Damone's Five-Point Plan for succeeding with women -- I mean, come now ... notice how he ditched it and just complimented a chick's iced tea in order to ... you know ...)

    1. Be aloof, yet relevant -- Show up every so often. However, you need to make a splash when you do show up. If you're not, then aloofness only leads to heartache.

    2. Get championed by the right people -- Those with Donald F a g a n fetishes will suffice in this regard.

    3. Possess a keen eye for fashion -- This is also one that can be replaced with "play guitar" or "sing real good." Boys, it works.

    4. Command the English language -- Good grammar, diction and syntax are irreplaceable.

    5. Have a great personality (along with being a good dancer, the possessor of great eyes, have a great sense of humor and fun to be with) -- This gets you in the door.

    6. Mauve. Lots and lots of mauve -- I will not need to elaborate. It would be ungentlemanly.

    7. Emulate Alans Alda, Arkin or King -- Something about such do do the trick.

    8. If the gal is car-less, offer cash -- not too much, though. The right woman doesn't really want to be piled on when it comes to merchandise. (Unless, of course, it's shoes. You can't go wrong when it comes to shoes ... unless it's something with a square toe and a mid-range heel. Go high or real low. Trust me.)

    9. No facial hair -- seriously ... didn't the inane goatee complete its course when MarkMcGwire kept it into the 21st Century? A whisper-thin JohnWaters-esque moustache, though, gives an air of sophistication and mystery. That's the only exception.

    10. Be effeminate -- Guys, you might balk at this one... But, lemme hear it from the gals on this one. You KNOW how it makes you feel all funny inside (in a good way) to be with a guy who's just a little, you know, prissy -- even if it's a standard manly man who fishes, plays slow-pitch, etc.

    11. When all else fails -- Cut and run. The aloofness angle will likely kick in and it gives you some credibility. Sticking around makes you seem desperate.

    Thus endeth the lesson.
    Last edited by Jokerman; 03-30-07 at 12:58 PM.

  2. #182
    Join Date
    Oct 1999
    Location
    Land of SASSY!
    Posts
    4,092
    My Mood
    Flirty
    Dang! Forgot the most important thing ...

    BE FAB-U-LOUS!

    If that's unattainable, then BE SASSY!

    (Some might think trying to be Stinkin' Wacky would do the trick. Um ... that's not even something your garden variety male needs to attempt without a firesuit, a good pair of sneakers and a package of Polar Ice Extra gum -- and that's just for the pregame stretch!)

  3. #183
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Cowstellaw (mooo!)
    Posts
    20,135
    ...dagnabbit, I'm starting to develop a board-crush on Jokerman.

    ...and how'd I forget tommie and robby earlier in this thread?! I must be going nuts. They're hilarious. Funny = sexy. Jokerman speaks the truth.



Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts